I used to be convinced that I didn’t have enough faith when my prayers weren’t answered, or at least answered the way I had hoped. Thankfully, I finally learned the truth, which was not easy to admit, that my real problem was a lack of trust. I realize now that I have enough faith. The real questions were; What did I have faith in? What type of faith did I have?
The truth of the matter was I had faith in my faith – so I spent more time trying to build up my faith, rather than my relationship with Jesus. I was still trying to earn what I already had because I failed to see myself the way Jesus sees me. I also allowed myself to be deceived by spiritual leaders I trusted who would say, “You need to have more faith.” That has taught me to be more diligent in my study of the Word.
As I stated before, it wasn’t about the amount of my faith. The type of faith I had needed to change. What I needed was perseverance – an enduring faith. Somehow, in a time of crisis, I forgot how Jesus had already brought me through things I thought would destroy me. Doubt and unbelief kept me going back to my own resources. It took time, but I now know that in spite of my failing faith, He is always faithful.
“And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.””Matthew 17:18-21 NKJV
I am learning how to get out of my own way. I must decrease as He increases. The Holy Spirit power that raised Jesus from the dead is also in me. Through trust and obedience to His word, more of that power is revealed in my life day by day – so that He can bless others through me.